


The weight of the crown

by lastwagontrainhopper



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, One Shot, Politics, Post-Canon, Royai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25337803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastwagontrainhopper/pseuds/lastwagontrainhopper
Summary: For Roy and Riza, the story did not end with the Promised Day. It didn't even end when Roy became President. But as Ed discovers what life is like for the Führer and his bodyguard, he wonders how much longer they can go on like this before one of them breaks.Royai.
Relationships: Edward Elric & Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye & Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 20
Kudos: 123





	The weight of the crown

**Author's Note:**

> It starts out light and fluffy but the angst will come, don't worry. Also, Ed isn't super good at handling the Royai feels.

The sight of Roy Mustang dressed as a civilian was one that never ceased to surprise Edward. Ordinary clothes looked so strange in place of his eternal blue uniform that it felt as if Mustang's head had been cut off and transplanted onto someone else's body. Ed simply wasn’t used to it: during his years as a State Alchemist, he had rarely met his superior outside of headquarters or military operations. In fact, it was only after the Promised Day that he had realized that Mustang did, in fact, have a life outside of the military.

To be fair, Mustang's domestic life had always been in the background of his career, and this had become all the more true since he had become Führer. If he was to be believed, Mustang had had so little free time in the last two years that he hadn't even gone through all the rooms of his presidential mansion - although this was probably more a brag than a real complaint. In any case, Ed felt that the visit of the Führer and his bodyguard to Youswell wasn’t unrelated to this lack of vacation.

"Nonsense," Mustang had dismissed with a snort when Ed had put this hypothesis forward. "We're not on vacation: we're doing an inspection of a bustling city that caught the attention of Central. Somebody had to check that everything we hear about here is true! “

Indeed, Youswell no longer had anything to do with the small mining town that Ed and Al had visited at the beginning of their trip. Its proximity to the desert, which had previously condemned it to a harsh climate and an absence of travelers, had suddenly made its fortune: it had become the last stop on the railway line linking Amestris to the Xin Empire, and thousands of Xin merchants stopped there every day to sell their wares. The city had a dozen improvised open-air markets like the one they were passing through, where accents, smells and colors mixed in organized chaos. Fabrics hung high up protected the merchandise from the midday sun and offered the trio of visitors a welcome respite, after hours of wandering through the city's burning streets.

"And you're telling me," Edward replied, avoiding a merchant who ran past them, "that no one except the Führer could come and do this report?" He walked to the left of Mustang, a briefcase thrown over his shoulder. "I knew the Amestrian government was incompetent, but I didn't know it was that bad! “

"Edward, remember what we told you," Riza warned him distractedly, looking at a kiosk of ancient weapons. Against her usual habits, she walked next to her superior, to his right, and was also dressed as a civilian.

" Incognito, yeah, I know. Honestly, Hawkeye, I'm surprised you went along with all of this. No guards, in a city without military headquarters? “

Mustang threw an irritated look at him. " Fullmetal, I would appreciate if, for once, you would refrain from destroying everything I worked for. This took a lot of convincing. “

"It's true, Ed, that a tighter security would make me feel more at ease, " Riza answered as if she hadn’t heard her superior. She turned towards Ed. "But Mustang has a point: going incognito, when it works, is very safe and Youswell is an ideal place for that. His face isn't well known this far from Central, and the area is quite peaceful. Very few people have been told about this trip - you're the only civilian to know about it, by the way. “

Roy casually put his hands in his pockets. "But to answer your question - yes, I could have picked anyone to come and do this job. But I’ve got to admit that when I saw the request for a report on Youswell, I couldn't resist the idea of a little trip outside of headquarters. I was curious to see the effects of our railroad…" his gaze stopped on a stand selling skewers made of an unknown meat," ...and I've always wanted to try Xindian food! " he concluded with a grin to Hawkeye, who rolled her eyes with an amused look.

The three of them stopped in front of the booth and bought some mysterious skewers, then sat on the edge of a fountain to eat. In the large square surrounding them, the food had given way to trinkets and art objects that the craftsmen displayed on large sheets laid on the ground.

"And none of your generals are opposed to this? "Edward asked with his mouth full, thinking of Armstrong and the four austere men who had surrounded Mustang at its inauguration.

He carefully bit into a cube of meat and shrugged his shoulders. "They think I'm locked up in my office, and Janie assures them that I'm in a particularly bad mood; that should be enough to keep them at bay. The good part of my position is that no one would dare barge into my office unannounced. " He wiped his mouth with his handkerchief and thew Edward a sideways look. "This trip isn’t just for leisure, however. I may not be elected, but the stability of the government depends on what the people think of me and the situation of the country. And I'm not going to learn that by traveling around Amestris surrounded by my _royal procession_. “

"Speaking of which," Hawkeye elbowed him, "at 4 o'clock, near the pearl seller. “

Edward glanced discreetly in the direction, but nothing caught his attention except a tall, pale-faced man inspecting a necklace. When he turned his head, he saw Mustang give Hawkeye a pleasantly surprised look. "Interesting. “

Edward wanted to ask why, but the two of them changed the subject abruptly, and he thought better of it; he had long learned not to meddle in military matters that didn’t concern him. Anyway, that wasn't why he had come to meet Mustang.

One of the new Fuhrer’s first resolutions had been to abolish the State Alchemist program. This had come as a surprise for many; after all, it was through his alchemy that Roy Mustang had started to climb the ladder and built his reputation. But for those who knew him well, this decision seemed only natural. Mustang had seen officers get into alchemy only for the promotions; alchemists trying forbidden experimentations to keep their certification; teenagers joining the military to gain access to some archives. Alchemy was inherently a dangerous and tempting science, but chaining it to the military only made matters worse.

Instead, a civilian alchemy program had been set up, and Central's records had been made available to students and researchers. The most dangerous texts, those dealing with human transmutation, the philosopher's stone, the creation of chimeras, and other now forbidden topics, had been permanently destroyed.

Or at least that was what the official story said. In truth, Mustang was too much of a scientist to bring himself to destroy these sources of knowledge, but he knew the danger they represented if they fell into the wrong hands. A few months after his inauguration, he had invited Edward to Central, under the pretext of a meeting with his old squad, and offered him a deal: when forbidden documents were discovered, they would be sent to Resembool for study and safekeeping.

Ed was ashamed to admit it, but the first thing he felt about the idea was excitement. Domestic life suited him, and between Winry, his young kids and his introductory book on alchemy, he had enough on his plate. But the research - going through entire books looking for an answer, discovering parts of alchemy he didn't even know existed, tackling a new theory as if it was a riddle to be solved - he missed it all terribly. Al had been making new discoveries in his travels through Xin, but Ed's investigations at Resembool were limited.

Still, he had found the proposition strange: could Mustang not think of a safer place for these books than a house in the countryside? But when he went to visit him in Central, it all became clear. Mustang may have become Führer; he didn't trust the military staff any more than he did before. On the contrary: his mistrust seemed to have turned into paranoia, and he would never let anyone in the army deal with these texts. Moreover, Mustang could be sure that Ed would not be tempted by the forbidden rituals he was studying: he could no longer use alchemy, and in any case, he had learned to stay away from that kind of experiment - that lesson had cost him an arm, a leg and a brother.

And so, whenever his duties took him east, Mustang invited Edward to join him and tell him about his most interesting findings. The Führer didn't want to learn the grim details; but some of the forbidden books contained information useful to other fields of alchemy, and that was what he wanted to know. Besides, Edward didn't receive only the sinister texts: he was also sent research notes that no one in Central had been able to decode, or particularly complicated theories. He was a genius, after all.

The two men then spent the afternoon in the shadow of a cafe exchanging hypotheses, with Hawkeye half listening as she watched the surroundings while sipping a Xindi tea. Ed would never admit it out loud, but he looked forward to those long discussions: although Mustang hadn't done any research for a long time, he had a sharp mind and was able to understand the theories Ed was developing and point out their weaknesses. He, too, seemed to enjoy their exchanges - it took him back to his teenage passion, and was surely a pleasant change from his day-to-day work.

As the sun began to set, Hawkeye brought them back to reality.

"If we want to be back in East City at a reasonable hour, we should get going, sir. “

Mustang raised his arms in the air and stretched noisily on his chair. "Ah, you're right, Captain. Duty calls, as always. "He reluctantly got up and put on his jacket. " Anyway, Clarke will be disappointed to learn that the code of the yellow notebook remains a mystery. She had high hopes for the "great" Fullmetal Alchemist. “

"Hey, give me some time! I have other things to do, you know. It’s gonna be a matter of one or two months.”

Mustang sighed and gave Hawkeye a pitiful look. "If it's really that fast, you'll have to come and tell us yourself. I doubt we'll be able to get out of Central before Christmas. “

"Don't be so pessimist, sir. I'm sure there'll be a joint training session somewhere in the countryside that will absolutely require your supervision. “

"Hawkeye! You’re actually helping him get off work?" Ed shook his head in discouragement. "I don’t understand how this country hasn’t collapsed by now.”

"I guess we have our prime minister to thank for that. I'm just the poster boy," Mustang replied with a smirk.

The three of them continued chatting as they exited the store and walked to the train station. The weather was more pleasant now, and the crowd had begun to scatter.

"Did you get any news from Al, lately? " Hawkeye asked. "It's been a while since we've had a letter from him. “

Ed shook his head. "No, nothing new. But I'm not too concerned: Xin is a big empire, and he warned me that the postal service wasn’t always very reliable. Besides, he's more than capable of defending himself, so there’s no need for me to worry. “

Mustang raised an eyebrow, amused. "I wonder who you're trying to convince like that. "

Ed smiled and shrugged his shoulders. " Heh. You can’t stop being a big brother”

When Mustang's car appeared around the corner, he let out a whistle.

"Well, I see the job comes with some perks. Our Führer thinks he's too important to take the train? “

"We have a few more visits to make in the East tomorrow," Hawkeye explained as she took out the keys. "Do you want a ride to East City? It'll save you a ticket. "

"Why not, as long as Mustang stops hassling me with his questions. "

"Sorry, I forgot that a few hours of intellectual work were too much for your young brain to take, Fullmetal. Mind if I drive? “

"Not at all, sir. I could use a break myself. “

Mustang grabbed the keys and headed for the driver's seat, waking past Hawkeye. He opened the door and put his right foot inside the car.

Then, everything happened in a heartbeat.

As Mustang climbed into the vehicle, Ed saw Hawkeye snap her head toward him, grab his collar and sharply yank him backward. As she backed away, her eyes searched for Edward and she shouted something at him; but before the words could make their way through his brain, the world turned upside down.

Ed felt a force propel him through the air and a heatwave hit him with full force. Thunder filled his ears; he only had time to wonder which way the sky was before he felt his chest crash against a hard surface, blowing the air from his lungs and rattling his teeth.

Gradually, he regained control over his senses. He couldn’t hear anything except a high-pitched ringing. His mouth was full of dirt; he tried to spit it out but realized that his face was still against the ground. Carefully he propped himself up on his forearms and opened his eyes, which he didn’t remember closing.

When the ground had stopped spinning, he sat down and looked around.

The front of the Führer's car was nothing more than a pile of twisted, smoking metal. The driver’s seat had completely disappeared; Edward saw a fragment of the steering wheel a few meters off his right foot. Part of his brain wondered how Mustang was going to drive this piece of junk to East City.

All of a sudden, he remembered what had happened.

His fighting instincts immediately kicked in. Ed quickly checked himself from head to toes: his entire body hurt, but nothing seemed broken and he wasn't bleeding. He jumped on his feet and looked for Mustang and Hawkeye; through the smoke, he saw two silhouettes near the vehicle and ran as best he could in their direction.

They both looked terrible – like he surely did, if he could see himself - but they seemed to be alive. Hawkeye was crouched over Mustang, lying on his side, his face contorted with pain. Ed quickly figured out why: his right leg was covered in blood, a red stain that was quickly widening despite the coat Hawkeye had tied around the wounds and the pressure she applied with both hands. Mustang's left hand was pressing another piece of cloth on his right forearm, which had been wrapped around it like a bandage. How Hawkeye had had time to do all this, Ed had no idea.

She looked up as she heard him approaching. "Edward, are you hurt?”

Her voice was steady and there was no hint of surprise or shock on her face. She simply seemed focused, as she had been when she had examined the skewers earlier today.

"Yeah, I'm fine, but..."

Cutting him off, she threw a small metal object at him. It was an alchemist's watch, probably Mustang's.

"Stop a car; we need to get him to the hospital!”

Ed nodded and ran to the nearest street. He didn't know if the alchemist's watch was working, or if it was the smoking crater nearby, but a driver quickly stopped and motioned for them to get in. He helped Hawkeye drag the Führer to the vehicle.

" Sir, I need you to keep quiet and focus on keeping the pressure on your arm. We’ll soon be at the hospital.”

The drive seemed to last only an instant. Mustang flinched at every bump in the dirt road but said nothing, his eyes closed. At last they arrived at the town hospital, and he was quickly lifted up by two nurses and brought inside.

Ed and Hawkeye tried to follow him inside the building, but they were immediately intercepted by concerned nurses This wasn’t surprising: with their clothes torn and covered in blood, they looked almost as bad as the man they had brought in. After making sure that they had nothing more serious than bumps and a few cuts, they were made to wait in a hallway for a few endless minutes before a nurse walked up to them.

She took off her mask and her eyes widened at their appearance.

"You were the ones who carried the wounded man here, right? " After their nod, she continued. " We've just brought him to the operating room. He has several pieces of metal lodged in his leg and a smaller one in his arm that will have to be removed. The operation shouldn't take too long. “

"Perfect. I’m sure you must have guessed that those metal pieces didn’t get there on their own. “Hawkeye took a medal out of her pants’ pocket and showed it to the nurse. "The man who was wounded and I are officers of the Amestrian military, and we've just been attacked. I will need to have soldiers posted at the entrances to this building and I’ll stand guard in his room once the operation is over.”

The sight of Hawkeye's military insignia and her rank of captain did not seem to impress the nurse.

"You can bring soldiers if you want, as long as they don't bother anyone, " she said, shrugging her shoulders. "But to limit the risk of infection, only the patient's immediate family is admitted inside the hospital room. Are you a close relative of his?”

Hawkeye hesitated for half a second. "No. But I'm his assistant, and I have an obligation to look after him. I can't do that without having a visual.”

"I'm sorry, Miss, but you’ll have to wait a bit longer. Visiting hours are open to coworkers after 24 hours.”

Hawkeye moved her head backward and blinked, as if the word "coworkers" had hit her in the face. Her expression hardened.

"I'm sure," she said in an icy tone, "that you can make an exception in such circumstances.”

The nurse frowned and crossed her arms. "Hey, this isn't a military hospital: you can't order me around. I don't make the rules, and the rules are: immediate family only. Is this clear?”

"This is ridiculous! " Ed stepped forward. He couldn't believe it: they weren't going to let some stupid rule stop them! "Do you have any idea who that guy is?”

Before he could go on, Hawkeye put a hand on his shoulder.

"Ed," she said abruptly, "stop.”

He looked at her, confused. Why didn't she use the Führer's authority when she needed it? He was the military leader of the country, after all! But Hawkeye shook her head, so he kept his mouth shut.

The nurse looked disdainfully at Ed.

"Are you in the army, too? »

He turned to her and snorted.

"Not at all. And I sure don’t want to join." Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. "Hey, that man is the godfather of one of my sons! That counts as immediate family, right? »

The nurse let out a long sigh and looked him up and down.

"Sure. The secretary at the front desk will tell you his room number when he gets out. " She turned to Hawkeye. " These rules are there to protect the health and privacy of patients; they're not there for fun. Please keep that in mind.”

As soon as she was away, Ed turned to Hawkeye, who hadn't moved. "Why didn't you let me tell them he’s the Führer? They couldn't have objected to that! »

Hawkeye put away her medal and tried to straighten up her hair. "We still need to keep his presence here a secret, as much as we can. Someone found out Roy was coming here, someone who wasn't supposed to know, and we're going to have to find out who.”

Ed nodded." Anyway, don't worry. I don’t care what their stupid rules say, I’m gonna sneak you in.”

"No, you won’t.”

"Huh?"

"I'm going to let you look after him for a while, Ed. There are other things I need to do. I've got to call some trusted soldiers from East City and get my weapons out of the trunk of the car. I lost my handgun in the explosion.”

She remained stone-faced and had taken on her military voice, the one she used to give orders to subordinates, but Ed wasn’t fooled.

"Hawkeye..." he began softly.

"Edward. " Her tone was sharp. She looked him straight in the eye. " We've got other problems right now.”

Grudgingly, he nodded. Hawkeye turned around and quickly walked towards the hospital entrance.

The next few hours went by in a blur. Ed paced circles in the hospital hallway, fearing another sudden explosion or the appearance of an enemy that he would be hard pressed to defeat, without any weapons or alchemy. He knew how much it must have cost Hawkeye to leave Mustang under his protection, and he couldn't take it lightly. The tension in the air was putting him on his edge: incidents like this probably didn’t happen very often around here, and he could hear people gossiping while looking in his direction.

After some time, he was sent to a hospital room where Mustang was resting, still under anesthesia. As far as Edward could tell, he seemed to be all right: his right arm was wrapped in white bandages, as was surely his leg, under the blankets. He looked paler than usual, but to Ed's relief, he didn’t seem in pain.

Through the room’s window, Ed watched the sun go down and the night fall. Finally, he saw the headlights of several military vehicles pull up in front of the hospital, and a dozen blue figures emerge from them. A few minutes later, he heard voices on the other side of the door and went out into the hallway. Four soldiers had just stopped in front of the room, one of them in a heated debate with a nurse; Ed suspected it was the same debate that Hawkeye had had a few hours earlier.

Two soldiers turned to him. "What are _you_ doing here?”

"What do you think? Somebody had to watch over the...over him," Ed grumpily replied.

The soldiers looked him up and down.

"We'll take it from here. You can go and rest.”

Ed was about to protest, but exhaustion came down on him like a weight being dropped on his shoulders, and he realized that he had not stopped being tense since the incident. He greeted the soldiers and walked away slowly.

As he made his way through the hospital, he came across other officers walking at full speed with grave looks. Some had their weapons out, attracting nervous glances from the medical staff and patients. Ed finally arrived at the entrance, where the comings and goings of soldiers was even more intense. Orders were being barked in all directions; fortunately, no one was paying attention to him. He didn't know what he wanted more: to sit down, to change his clothes, or to fall asleep.

When he came out of the building, he noticed Hawkeye sitting alone, apart from the bustling group of soldiers. He walked in her direction, surprised not to find her ordering soldiers around. Uncharacteristically, she did not seem to hear him and startled when he sat down next to her.

"He's fine," he said in response to her silent question. "Some soldiers came to his room and took over. When they saw me, I quickly got sent to bed. "He tried to smile.

Hawkeye imitated him without conviction. " Yes, I was given a similar order.”

She did look pretty beat-up, Ed suddenly realized, much more than he did. When he had helped carry Mustang, some blood had stained his clothes; but Hawkeye's pants and shirt were covered with dried blood, obviously not her own, which she also had traces of on her face and hair. Shoulders slumped, she kept her arms folded against her and seemed to shiver in the cool of the night. Ed wondered where her coat had gone, before he recalled how she had used it to bandage Mustang's leg; it was probably irretrievable. More than anything else, Hawkeye looked utterly tired, in a way he had rarely seen her before.

He hesitated, then took off his own coat, which was almost intact, and draped it on her shoulders. Part of him remembered a time when Hawkeye had made the same gesture for him, long ago. He almost expected her to refuse, but she didn't react, lost in thought.

"He's going to be okay, you know," Ed said after a while. "I've heard some doctors talk. He'll probably be able to walk just fine in a few months.”

Hawkeye finally grasped his coat and tightened it around her. She sighed.

"I know he's going to be all right. I've seen him recover from worse than this." Her gaze was wandering in the darkness in front of them. " But it was way too close.”

"Can’t argue with that. I still don't know how you were able to react so quickly.”

"It's a kind of bomb that gets attached under the vehicle and is activated by weight. It's not very sophisticated; it makes the car heavier and you can spot the difference in the way the car bounces when someone gets in." She absently scratched a scab of blood on her arm, a worried look on her face. "The last time we dealt with a bomb like this, I found it when I inspected the car before getting in it. But today... no one was supposed to know we were here... "

Ed frowned. "Hey, Hawkeye, no one's gonna blame you for anything. You saved his life! »

"I know. But we just got lucky. If I had been three feet further, he'd be dead. If I had reacted half a second later, he'd be dead." She turned her head towards him. "And you know what the worst part is? Whoever planned this attack did a poor job of it. Usually, I get in the car first, in the driver's seat; a bomb that detonates so quickly would probably have hit only me and not Roy, which is certainly not what they wanted. And the blast radius of the bomb was too limited: maybe because they didn't want any collateral damage, or they didn't have the means to make a more powerful one. It was an ill-conceived and simplistic attack, and it almost worked. Imagine when someone actually capable decides to give it a try. »

Ed thought back to the failed coup that had unfolded a few months after Mustang’s inauguration; his reforms to diminish the power of the army had not made him very popular within the military. He had even had to use his alchemy to defend himself, according to some rumors. And then, there were the neighboring countries, whose relations with Amestris were still tense, who would surely be happy to see its military leader assassinated. Mustang certainly had no shortage of enemies.

“You’ll fend them off too, Hawkeye. You and Mustang defeated enemies worse than this – no second-rate terrorists will take you down after everything you’ve gone through, and everything you’ve done.”

Hawkeye nodded absently.

"I guess you're right. The thing is... we’ve come so far, and Roy’s already accomplished so much, but the closer we get to our goal the more fragile it all seems. It feels like his life, and mine, and everything we’ve built up is balancing like a house of cards. And all it would take is one unlucky moment, or one time when I’m not vigilant enough, for all of it to come crashing down on the ground.”

She took a big breath and looked up to the sky. Ed remembered how quickly Hawkeye had reacted after the detonation, apparently not surprised that their vacation day turned into a life-or-death situation in the blink of an eye. To be so quick on her feet, did she have to stay constantly on the lookout, waiting for the next attack?

After a long silence, she spoke again in a low voice.

“There’s just so much at stake, not just for Amestris, but also for the two of us…There are days when Roy’s life feels too heavy of a responsibility to bear. But then, it’s not a responsibility I would entrust to anyone else, so here I am." She stared at his feet. "But I don’t know how much longer I can go on with living like this. To be honest…it’s beginning to wear me out.”

Ed didn't know what to say. He could hardly imagine what it was like to live on the edge for years, never truly safe from danger; even during his years as a State Alchemist, he had usually been the one to start the fights, not the other way around.

And Hawkeye...Ed had never seen her like this, so defeated, so vulnerable. Since he'd known her, she had been a calm, reassuring figure, rock-solid no matter the circumstances. More than once, she had comforted and counseled him during his quest to find Al’s body; he wished he could return the favor.

But there was nothing he could say that could truly help her or cheer her up; and besides, Ed had never been the best with words. So, he said nothing. He just sat there, next to her, and together they waited silently for the sunrise.

\----

When Ed came to visit him again in the morning, Mustang had woken up. Two soldiers were guarding his room, but they hadn't been allowed inside. This wasn’t much of a problem anymore: the possibility of a second attack seemed more unlikely with each hour passed, especially with a dozen officers surrounding the hospital.

"Finally awake, huh? Took you long enough.”

"Even when I’m at death’s door, you manage to stay as insolent as ever, Fullmetal. It’s baffling.” Mustang propped himself up with his arms to sit, hiding a grunt of pain. "Where's Riza?"

"She's alright. She can't come here yet; visits are limited to 'immediate family' and stuff.”

A shadow quickly passed over Mustang's face.

"Well, it's a good thing my favorite relative Edward Elric was around," he said with a smirk. "Tell her I’m okay. I don’t want her worrying for nothing."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Are you really okay, though?"

"Well, I'm not going to lie, this hurt like hell," he said, pointing to his leg. "But I've seen worse. The real problem, however, is that we were attacked while we were here incognito. That can't be a coincidence; someone must have sold us out. But only a few people had been told about this trip….” He sighed and his expression darkened. "Betrayals are always an inconvenience, but when they come from someone you trusted, that's when it really hurts.”

"If you weren’t such a jerk of a boss, maybe your subordinates wouldn’t be so eager to betray you," said Ed in a mocking tone, but his heart wasn’t in it.

Mustang replied in the same tone." Well, at least none of my subordinates could ever be worse than you were." He dropped his smile and looked at Ed in the eyes. "But in all seriousness, thanks for the help, Ed. I'm sorry the day ended like this; I didn't mean to put a civilian like you in danger. "

Ed brushed off the apology. "Don’t mention it; I'm glad I was there to help. But you should be more careful in the future, Mustang. I won't always be around to save the day. "

The Führer raised his eyebrows. "Ah, Edward, it's nice of you to worry about me. "

"I'm not worried about you!" Ed said, slightly embarrassed. "It's for Hawkeye. This kind of secret, unsecured trip... that’s pretty stressful for her. It's starting to wear her out. "

Mustang gave another sad smile. "I’m afraid it’s me being Further that’s wearing her out, and no amount of guards is going to change that.”

“But there _is_ something you can do about it, though." Ed crossed his arms defiantly. " You could retire. Right now. You’ve accomplished what you had planned to do as Führer, haven’t you? Don’t be greedy, Mustang; resign by your own choice rather than wait until you’re forced to.” Mustang didn’t react, a pensive look on his face. ”Do you really need someone in your team, or Hawkeye, to die at your service for you to finally quit? Is this how it has to end? Is it how you _want_ it to end?”

“Fullmetal, you may not believe it, but I don’t have a death wish,” he answered with a controlled voice. “And I certainly don’t want anyone in my team, least of all her, to die for nothing. But my work isn’t done yet.”

“But it will never _be_ done!” Ed was beginning to get exasperated. “Amestris will never be perfect, Mustang, but you did what you set out to do, and that’s enough.”

"You know what, Ed? " Mustang finally looked back at him, irritation also appearing in his voice. "Today, if I wanted to, I could dismantle everything I’ve put in place - the Parliament, the elections, the Court of Justice. I could overthrow Brown, and no one would be able to stop me - I wouldn't even have to use my alchemy.”

"...Okay, you should definitely resign.”

"What this means," he continued slowly, as if he was explaining to a child, "is that if _I_ have the power to do this, then my successor, whoever that is, will be able to do it too. And I've spent enough time in the military to know what kind of person aspires to be Führer. I can't afford to blindly trust whoever is going to take my place; I need to make sure that going back is impossible. I need to abolish the Führer’s position. That will require new laws, changes to the constitution. Work.”

"And while you're doing all that work, you're going to keep living this kind of life, and dragging Hawkeye through it too? " Mustang stiffened up, and Ed raised his voice, sensing a scathing retort. “Maybe no one around you realizes it because you’re all stuck in your little military bubble, so I’m gonna tell you: the way you live is messed up. It’s messed up that you’re expecting assassination attempts any day, that you’re used to having your car bombed. It’s messed up that you’re not able to trust the people you work with.” He was yelling now. “It’s messed up that you and Hawkeye need to keep up with that charade – that she can’t even come to see you in the hospital because she’s supposed to be only your coworker! This is not normal!”

"You know what's not normal, Fullmetal? "His voice was barely louder than a whisper. "That Riza and I were sent to commit a genocide when we were barely adults. That's what's really messed up. »

Ed’s breath caught in his chest.

Ishval. It always came back to this.

"Do you think we _want_ to live like this?" Mustang's voice was low, almost a growl. He was fuming, Ed realized suddenly; a cold fury burned in his eyes. It wasn't the great flames of his spectacular outbursts of anger; it was the red glowing of embers, from a resentment kept below the surface for too long. "I’m aware that it’s messed up, Ed, more aware than you could ever be, because I have to live through it all. And it hurts. It hurts that Riza and I can’t get the normal life with the house and the kids – hell, we can’t even live in the same apartment or go to the restaurant together! It hurts that I can’t take care of her when she’s sick. It hurts to know that if we die, our names won’t be on the same tombstone." Ed felt like he was petrified. He'd never heard Mustang talk to him so openly before. "But we know what we’re doing this for. Our goal is bigger than the two of us ; it’s what brought us together in the first place, and I know Riza would never forgive me if I were to give up so close to the end. If I were to step down today, and the next Führer was to take back full control over Amestris, all of our years of work and sacrifice will have been for nothing.”

Mustang's implacable tone left no room for argument, and his steely gaze seemed to pin Ed in place.

His expression softened. "Ed, you know how important this is to us. If Riza confided in you, it's because she knew you wouldn't try to convince her that this is foolish. She needs support, not…confrontation.”

Ed felt like a kid who'd just been caught at fault. "It's not... I didn't try... "

"Good," Mustang simply replied.

Ed clenched his fists, still as frustrated as ever. He knew what Mustang was saying was true; but to see him accept his fate with such stoicism was maddening.

Before he could answer back, a nurse burst into the room, furious at hearing screams in a recovering patient's room. As he was being pushed toward the exit, Ed turned to the Führer.

"I don’t care what you say, you're gonna need someone outside the army to talk some sense into you eventually." He pointed a finger at him and looked him in the eye. "If in one year, you’re still in that position, I’m coming to Central to beat you up until you’re honorably discharged.”

Mustang made a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I don't doubt it, Fullmetal.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic outside of Royai week, so honestly I'm just hoping *some* people see it.
> 
> If you've enjoyed it, make an author's day, leave a comment!
> 
> This fic was inspired by a fanart on Tumblr of Ed putting a coat over Riza's shoulders. I didn't manage to find it again despite my best effort. If anyone knows the art I'm talking about, pls tell me!  
> EDIT: I found it! https://thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee.tumblr.com/post/642399015860928513/septhi-draw-equivalent-exchange


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